Monday, January 30, 2006

The Fed-Express


Another grand slam and another victory for the seemingly unstoppable Roger Federer.
I heard that the folks down in Wimbledon have already engraved his name on the trophy as the 2006 champion? Well, I don't know if they have really, but they should, it would save them the hassle come July. You know what? They might as well get the French and US Open trophies done at the same time, I reckon they would get a discount.
I mean, he played pretty average by his standards over the last two weeks and still came out unscathed. Granted it was a weakened field but it doesn't bode well for the other players this year. Somehow I just can't see anybody on tour who has the weapons to hurt him.
It's intriguing to think that he now has seven grand slam singles titles to his name, the same as John McEnroe, one less than Andre Agassi and seven of the record held by Pete Sampras.
Remember we are talking about a 24 year old man, not some one coming to the end of a long career.
So lets just sit back and enjoy the watching him as he goes about making history.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Proud to be British


Thankfully I was never caught up in the whole celeb big bruv thing, but for the hell of it and because I'm an anti social bastard who doesn't go out, I decided to check out tonight's final.
Of course, not because I was interested in who was goin to 'win', but because from what I've seen I was mightily impressed with that Preston bloke's wardrobe.
You really can't beat truly mod style clobber and he was flexing it big time, I just hope those guys in charge of the high street retailers took notes and plan a future collection because, in my humble opinion of course, the mods have had more of an influence on modern fashion than any other group, these guys wouldn't leave the house unless they were immaculate...
Anyway, back to Preston, not only is his bands music impressive, with its ska and two tone sounds, bringing to mind 'the specials' and 'madness' but the guy can dress.
Its a genuine British look which deserves a comeback so it can kick the arse of those lazy track suit clad mother fuckers who make me so irate! Every worthwhile guy should own a skinny black tie and a pair of classy leather winkle-pickers.
I'm off to buy myself a vespa and locate the nearest swingers club, peace.

(If you do not understand anything I have said please email me so I can flog you.)

P.S. For inspiration look to last years Burberry Brit ads with a pre-fugitive Kate Moss...
P.P.S. I mean the real Burberry, not the fake version which has tainted one of our greatest labels...

Nice birdie





Now I know how you folk detest the quaint "sport" of golf, but I've just given you a reason to watch it-Natalie Gulbis.
In case you didn't know, Natalie is a female golfer (I know, hard to believe) and she is pretty good, but besides this, she is so hot!
She's just released her 3rd calendar, appeared in Fhm's 100 sexiest list and apparently has her own reality tv show in t'states.
Other golf hotties that get a special mention are Sophie Sandolo and Paula Creamer...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Madness


I was amazed to find that one of my favourite tv shows as a kid has now returned to our screens. 'Finders Keepers', originally hosted by Neil 'art attack' Buchanan, is back on Citv but is dissapointigly fronted by that bint Jeff Brazier.
Never the less, a great show has been pulled from oblivion to improve ratings, an idea which should be extended by the big wigs at itv by bringing back the absolutely greatest kids show ever- Fun House!
Bring Pat Sharp and his mullet and those blonde twins (Melanie & Martina) out of the retirement home and get the go karts revved up, because...Fun house...its a whole lot of fun, prizes to be won...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Blonde or Brunette?


My fondness for brunettes is well documented, and today I was delectably delighted to find a nice picture of beauty Reese Witherspoon as a classy brunette.
I reckon she should have kept the brown locks, don't she look great?

Dan Wilder


"I can't hold on, there's no easy way,"
'Hey, Dan, can I borrow-- My God, what happened to you?'
"I got hit by a big truck."
'Are you okay?'
"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you, I know you were right, Believing for so long."
'Dope song.What's it called?'
"Gwen Used Me For Her Story,Then Married an Ass Wipe...and Ran Over My Heart with a Big Metaphorical Truck." Originally performed by Air Supply.
'Who's Air Supply?'
"How old are you, Sally?"
'I'm old enough to be jealous of that Gwen girl.'
"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you, I know you were right believing for so long"

Monday, January 23, 2006

Like swiss clockwork


Just a quick update from down under.
Roger "The man" Federer is still simply sublime, carving his way through the field but given a tough workout against Tommy Haas this morning. It would take a brave man to bet against the swiss master scooping the title.
For those of you smart enough to have taken my advice and stuck some money on another swiss master-Miss Hingis, then your looking in pretty good shape. The outsider at the start of the tournament is looking mightily impressive, and maybe, just maybe, she could win here, stranger things have happened...

Sunday, January 22, 2006

You cannot be serious?!

Worryingly, it seems yours truly has been wrong twice this week. I know, I can't quite believe it either but not only did I park in the wrong place, it seems I was wrong about Andy Roddick winning in Australia. Yep, the nonce has gone and lost to a nobody.
Being in the wrong is something new to me and twice in a week is unheard of, it's left me questioning my own supreme self-confidence. However, one quick glance in the mirror soon dispels any such misdemeanour.
"Ostentatious"? Who? Me?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Say cheese



Here's some nice pictures from my private collection for your personal enjoyment...

P.S. I went back to road were I illegally parked and am in the wrong admittedly, there are numerous signs instructing me not 2 park there, apparently I'd "have to be Stevie Wonder to have missed them"...

Friday, January 20, 2006

I heart Ron


I absolutely fuckin love Ronnie O'Sullivan. The guy is totally unstable and totally unpredictable.
You just never know what he is going to do or say, on the snooker table and off it.
Last season he claimed he hated snooker and sped off from the tournament he was in vowing to retire. 8 months down the line and he is sitting in an interview with an "I heart snooker" tee shirt on, questioning how people ever got the idea that he didn't like snooker anymore!!
Fantastic entertainment I say...
(Look out for him over weekend on BBC as he is in semi-finals and likely to be in final.)

Wrong?


Is it wrong to wear white linen trousers, a khaki vest and sandals in the winter? You see I think not and so thats what I did today too much criticism.
Is it also wrong to wear the above attire while standing in front of a mirror, holding a broom and pretending to sing "the way you look tonight" by Elton John into it?
Please help

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I am the law


Today the D-Mac sat a pretty tough law exam as part of his journalism course. Of course, this wouldn't have been so tough if he had revised but carpe diem is what he says.
However, the real news here is that the D-Mac's name will probably be cemented in college folklore for years to come because of another incident which occurred today.
Yes, while the D-Mac was plodding his way through his law questions, some plod was plodding past my car and felt it necessary to issue me with a parking ticket for "illegal" parking.
Now he's stuck with a nice juicy fine to pay all because he never revised and learnt about parking laws, how he rues skipping that section of the book now.
Still, the bitter sweet irony of breaking the law while sitting a law exam is enough to make him laugh through it, and who knows, the bullshitting master who bullshit his way through his bullshit exam today may just be able to bullshit his way out of his bullshit fine

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

What I'm listening to...


Because I'm trying to put of revision for my law exam and because I feel you all should be more like me, I thought I'd tell you what music I'm listening to this week.
Pretty Ricky's album Blue stars was an amazing piece of R & B / hip hop /rap. 4 guys, 4 different types of vocals all come together to create this stunning colllection. Tracks to listen to are 'your body', 'juicy' and 'get you right'. Perfect music for luuuurrrrviing.
Hard Fi are still pretty kick ass and I've also started listening to The ordinary boys strangely but am impressed so far.
Currently loving absolutely anything acoustic aswell, seems to be the way music was always meant to be made....
Tracks I've rediscovered this week are 'Insatiable' by Darren Hayes (what a legend), 'I swear' by All 4 one (thanks to film Just friends, hilarious scene) and '2 become 1' by the Spice girls (there bestest and most grown up song with lyrics like "are you as good as I remember" and "be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on (condom obviously)) .

Peace out

A match made in heaven




















Today was a 'gorgeous' day in tennis. The world bear witness to possible the sexiest tennis match to have ever happened.
Maria Sharapova stepped on court to play Ashley Harkleroad on a beautiful evening on a delightful tennis court with the stunning Melbourne skyline in the backdrop...
Sadly, as is usually the case when two such beauties are around, it all ended far too quickly.
Maria comfortably thumped her oponent, but oh what a sight they were....

(Pictures, Ashley left, Maria right)

God save the queen


What does it mean to be British?
Well, being British means driving around in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, leaving the pub for an Indian curry or a Turkish Kebab, and going home to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.....

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Oz Open so far...


Now the two Brit hopefuls have crashed out and the hype has died down we can concentrate on the "real" tournament which is taking place down under.
Roddick and Federer progressed comfortably as expected. Local lad Lleyton Hewitt was made to struggle his way through.
In the women's side, Venus is out, Serena survives, Sharapova, Henin-Hardenne, Clijsters also through.
My darling Martina Hingis sales through in her comeback G slam after a a number of years out with injury. I sooooo hope she wins here.
So all in all not too many upsets in the first round and my picks (Roddick and Sharapova) are still hanging around to fight another day...

Lay off!


So it comes to pass, another Grand Slam tennis tournament and no Brits get passed the first round, another 'crisis' perhaps?
All I can say is back off, this kid (Andy Murray) will be a great tennis player. He's proved he can mix with the best of em, but we have to remember, he is 18 years old and has only been a pro for any time at all. The guy he lost to in Australia today is ranked well above him in the rankings and is a proven competitor on the tour. 6 months ago we wouldn't have expected Andy to make it to the tournament as he was ranked so low, and now people think he was going to win it?! It's crazy.
I disliked the fact that in his press conference he cited the media as placing too much pressure on him, excuses that should never be used. Press attention comes with the territory and if he wants to experience pressure then he should have traded places with poor Tim Henman when he played at Wimbledon over the last few years.
But along with Murray's exit, Richard "the next Federer" Gasquet, crashed out to a lesser ranked player than Murray as did Gael Monfils, another top young prospect.
Lets just put things in perspective, the kid is 18, making his debut in Australia, one of the biggest tournaments of the year, and has lost to a "better" player than himself, cut him a little slack, its not the end of the world....

I'm all outa love, I'm so lost without you...

I've started to develop that sensation in the pit of my stomach, you know that one that feels like butterflys flapping in your stomach? Seems to happen every time I see that face or hear that voice. Without this person I wouldn't exist, they complete me.
A glimpse of them brings to mind a thousand love songs, they are so beautiful, God how I adore this person.
Their name is so simple but can have three forms, me, myself and I...

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Ohhhhh Myyyyy Goooooood!


I had multiple orgasms this morning after reading this piece of news from a website, http://uk.news.yahoo.com/15012006/356/eriksson-fresh-revelations.html.

On it it says that Sven Goran Erikkson had an meeting with a journalist posing as an Arab businessman. In this liaison Sven apparently revealed he would be interested in becoming, yes......the Aston Villa manager....omg.....wooohooooo...
But far more importantly, Sven revealed that he would persuade my favouritest football on the entire planet to join him at villa, yes, DAVID FUCKIN BECKHAM, woooooooooooohhooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I somewhat doubt this will ever happen, but one can only live in hope, plus the mere fact that villa have been mentioned in the press is frankly astonishing, thank fuck for speculative and undercover journalism is all I can say...

Friday, January 13, 2006

Every teenage boys wet dream


Just who is the 'fittest' member of Girls Aloud?
I've been toiling over this particular conundrum for several weeks now, even enduring some sleepless nights, and I finally think I'm ready to answer...

5. Nicola, sadly the ginner is the worst in good bunch
4. Kimberly, not enough of the superficial things which matter
3. Cheryl, Hitler wannabe loses points for being a footballers squeeze
2. Sarah, stunning blonde, second only due to my fondness of...
1. Nadine, Irish gem who cannot be rivaled

Hot tip


After picking the eventual winners of all four of last years tennis Grand Slam tournaments way back in January, I see myself as somewhat of a specialist in the field.
Who would have picked big Marat Safin to win the Oz open with Federer in such good form? Well I did and I was right.
So being the nice chap I am, I'm going to give you the low down on this years Oz Open (starts monday)
After so many injury withdrawals, and with Federer himself strugling with an ankle problem, I see Andy Roddick taking the title here. A dark horse, although the 3rd, seed would be lleyton Hewitt, who could see himself in the final again if he can overcome Federer, who is in his half of the draw. Best prices are Roddick to win 10/1, and Hewitt to win 20/1.
With the men's game dominated by the Swiss master, the women's game offers far greater opportunies...
I'm personally shootin for Maria Sharapova to add to the Wimbledon title she won 18 months ago, her price is 7/1, although she will be playing with a dislocated rib, the brave mite.
Mary Pierce, who reached two G slam finals last year, could prove more fruitful at around 14/1.
A nice outsider would be Martina Hingis, back from retirement after five years and looking impressive in warm up events, you can get as good as 50/1 on her.
Happy gambling...

How are things in Glocca Morra?


Today was a happy day for the D-Mac. Yes, its taken over 8 years but I've finally tracked down a copy of my favorite, and possibly the greatest musical of all time...
My previous copy disappeared under mysterious circumstances, possibly when I moved house. But now I have it, in all its glory on DVD!
I take it as gospel that you folks won't be as strange as me and probably don't have a love for 60's cinema (John Wayne anyone?) so I'll just come out and say it, yes, its Finian's Rainbow!
What other musical could delightfully debate such hard hitting issues as racism, bigotry and stereotyping and make them so fantastic?
The stars of the show are Fred Astaire, making his last screen dance performance. Petula Clark, a pop star at the time (remember "downtown"?), and also Tommy Steele, who puts in a crackin display as Og, the leprechaun.
You must put this on your "movies I must watch before I die list" because it kicks the ass of musical movies like Grease and the Wizard of Oz.
Also to note, this movie was directed (admittedly quite embarrasingly) by Francis Ford Coppola, who went on to direct The Godfather...

P.S. Also bought today: Back to the future trilogy for £2.25 from a charity shop
Cool Runnings 75p from same charity shop
Simply Red's Greatest Hits (Ugly git but Simply stunning)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Oink


Taiwan, home to the world's first transgenic glowing fish, has successfully bred fluorescent green pigs that researchers hope will boost the island's stem cell research, a professor said on Thursday.
Spose it means if theres ever a power cut, you'll be able to find your sausage sandwhich.
I think Jade Goodie is in line for the treatment, maybe we will be able to see her coming next time...

Farewell Lee


It was a sad evening in Soapstar, Superstar land as Lee crashed out. Yes, I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth after my favourite contestant waved goodbye to the stage and joined the judges.
And in true sportsman like fashion, Lee saved the person who he went out against, Lucy.
No matter how honourable his intentions I think he made a mistake. You see, by saving Lucy it meant that either poor Rich (you see the oxymoron there) or foxy roxy would have to go after 'Kirk' was saved by the public. And them two are the bestest (apart from Lee).
Also, and even worse for Lee, by saving Roxy he may have been able to slip her a length in return, if you get my drift...Well thats what I woulda done...

The top 5....Best looking footballers



To show I'm not a sexist pig I've give you a rundown of the top 5 best lookin hunks who currently kick a ball around for a living. Aren't I a nice guy?

5. Kaka, crackin brazilian playmaker who models for Mr Armani
4. David Beckham, slipping down the pecking order now he has hit 30
3. Christiano Ronaldo, Pretty portuguese playboy
2. Freddie Ljungberg, Calvin Klein's sausage of choice
1. Thierry Henry, va va voom anyone?

The top 5....tennis playing birds




I think its just about the right time to start introducing that oh so classic manly pub game...the top 5.
To kick us off we are gonna have a quick rundown of the top 5 tennis playing babes on the planet. Feel free to express your views in the comments section.

5. Sue Barker, what can I say about this beauty...
4. Chris Evert, the original Kournikova (top picture with Maria Sharapova)
3. Anna Kournikova, currently shacked up with Enrique
2. Daniela Hantuchova, slender slovakian lovely and my personal favourite (bottom picture)
1. Maria Sharapova of course, can you dig it?

Be aware...


When it comes to their health, guys aren't usually the quickest of folk to sprint to their local quack. We seem to be in denial with things like this, "It's just a scratch" says John who just had his leg mauled by an alsation...This is even more true when it comes to things below the waist...
After recently seeing close up what the C word, yes cancer, can do to people, I feel it neccesary to inform the guys out there about this dispicable disease. A killer which is ignorant to age, creed and colour.
I'm sure most of you have heard of testicular and prostate cancer but don't know a great deal about it, this is particular true of myself. We see high profile awareness for breast cancer, all
that pink stuff, but ziltcho when it comes to the male forms of cancer. It seems women are a lot more open about this kind of stuff.
Well anyway, I heard a statistic today that scared the hell out of me: 1 man an hour dies from prostate cancer. I hope this simple fact alone will make you feel more health concious than ever.
It's true that prostate cancer, 90% of the time occurs in the over 60 age group. However, the same can't be said of testicular cancer, which affects young and old alike. If diagnosed swiftly though, it can be treated effectively in most cases. It seems that this whole diagnosing business is what scares alot of us, I mean having some doctor give your scrote the once over isn't exactly appealing, but since when did hospitals become a nice place? But if you want to put your mind at rest, it is the best way. You can check yourself, and I'll leave details of websites with all the info, but seen as how most of us lack a Phd in Biology its not always the most reliable method.
My advice is check out some of these websites so you know what you need to know and that you are informed and aware of the dangers.
Stay healthy

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/
http://www.prostate-cancer.org.uk/index.asp
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/menshealth/facts/checkingtesticles.htm
http://www.moh.govt.nz/moh.nsf/wpg_index/About-Prostate+Cancer

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Heartbreaker

A fact of life is that relationships come to an end, sometimes amicably, sometimes not.
When your feeling down in the dumps and need some help, forget all that religion cobblers, simply sing this to yourself:

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands, Love is a battlefield, We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong, Searchin’ our hearts for so long, both of us knowing, Love is a battlefield...

And the best song with a woman's name as the title is....



Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wall?
Do you remember dawn escapes from moon washed college halls?
Do you remember the cherry blossom in the market square?
Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair?
By the way didn’t I break your heart?
Please excuse me, I never meant to break your heart.
So sorry, I never meant to break your heart,
But you broke mine
Kayleigh is it too late to say I’m sorry?
And kayleigh could we get it together again?

Kayleigh by Marillion (1985)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Guilty conscience


After a late night attack of the munchies I happened to switch on the TV and in an attempt to find some decent porn I came across a bikini clad beauty in a tub. Now you may presume I was watching the fantasy channel or something to that effect, however, the truth is more alarming...it was in fact...channel 4...
Yes, I sadly watched the show I so despise and you know what, I kind of enjoyed it. I got that sadistic pleasure one feels when they know they are doing somehting they shouldn't be.
And what can I say, I think I'm hooked...
I feel I owe several people some apologies for previous comments made on this blogspot.
Not only does Galloway look like my Grandpa, he seems like a genuine enough fellow, as does Maggot.
And my precious Chantelle, so sweet and naive...
However, the apologies stop there, I still hate Barrymore, and all the rest of the looney toons in there. But I do admire some of the tactics. Jodie Marsh hooking up with Chantelle as soon as she realised she wasn't famous, very clever move.
And Dennis, it seems Dennis is attempting to melt himself in the sauna. I reckon as a puddle he would prove to be far more entertaining...

Monday, January 09, 2006

Big sissy Brother



How can you people honestly watch Big Brother?
Lets look at some of the contestants shall we...
Jodie Marsh - even faker version of Jordan (who'd of thought it possible), without her make up on you can see the scar on her nose (east end hooker chic?)
Barrymore - Sadly due to defamation (something I learnt at college) I cannot comment on Barymore...huhscumhuh
Baywatch lady - Is she black or white?
Faria Alam- famous for sleeping with a swede...if every woman who fucked a vegetable got on TV we wouldn't have anything else on and we would have a severe shortage of cucumbers...
Also of note: a washed up basketballer, a sleazeball politician, a person who apparently isn't famous (about the only thing she has in common with her housemates), Pete, who has children's foreskins implanted in his lips, and some other folk who in Maggot's (who you may ask) own words "are just there to make up the numbers"...
Do you really need anymore persuading to not watch this trash?

The showstopper


You see here's my theory: For most women, if a guy's a good provider and generally a nice chap, six-pack abs really aren't a deal-breaker. On the flip side, however, even though the PC boyfriend sat next to you with his arm slung around your shoulder will deny it...And he will deny it. For us boys, it's all about F.B.B. Face. Boobs. Bum. I'm just being honest.
I myself subscribe more to the European philosophy of life. My priorities leaning towards wine, women...Well, actually, that's about it. Wine and women. Although, women and women is always a fun option...
P.S. I don't wanna see Kelly Brook win this years coveted FHM sexiest woman award, so get your arses in gear and vote for the following (you vote for 10):
- Estella Warren (pictured because she is my favourite!), Alicia Keys, Jessica (Liberty X), Katie Melua, Keira Knightley, Kirsten Dunst, Louise Redknapp, Maria Sharapova, Salma Hayek and Samia Ghadie.
You would be doing the right thing if you were to vote for these timeless beauties...
Go to www.fhm.com

Soapstar...superstar?


I'd like to congratulate ITV for putting on a show to rival that stinky "celebrity" Big Brother show. If you watch that show you should be taken out to the field and shot. Sadly though and rather worryingly, ITV couldn't quite steer away from the whole wannabe celebrity thing but at least their contestants are recognisable, vageuely.
Anyway, what I want to say is BOMBHEAD 2 WIN!! Lee Otway is such a dude, I loved him in Hollyoaks (yes I watch Hollyoaks), and I think he's a great singer, 'Ain't no sunshine' was crackin.
If you want to see an arrogant American asshole poke fun
at over weight woman then you'll love it.
However, don't bother to watch the ITV2 aftershow, Duncan James has turned into a faggot with manky hair and I'm not usually a violent person but I could smack Jane Middlemiss in the teeth...seriously.
Also, foxy Roxy is quite decent but not quite as nice as Sammy (I think I'm in love with her) but sadly she got voted out.
Anyhoo, if you are bored to death with them half breeds over on channel 4 then check it out.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Never gonna give you up


Whatever happened to Rick Astley is a question I ponder to myself...not regularly admittedly, but every now and again.
I remember how he once wooed us with his soulful voice and he's amazing range of dance moves. (For those of you not familiar with sarcasm I'll put it bluntly - he danced like a one legged man doing the okey kokey).
Despite all this I felt a yearning to find out what he was currently up to and thanks to the miracle that is the internet I have.
It seems Mr Astley has been keeping himself busy since the great year of 1987 by writing songs. Apparently he has released several flops down the years but he is now back with 'Portrait'.
How is it that a man standing in the jaws of fame can somehow be plucked from his pedestal and dropped into the ocean of obscurity?
I think this question may be best answered by the house mates of celebrity Big Brother.
Quite surprised Rick wasn't invited actually....

Friday, January 06, 2006

Movies to look out for


Ahoy there shipmates! This year we have some big movies sailing onto our screens and I'm starting to get excited!
Getting a special mention are Brokeback mountain(out today), Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (July) and The Da Vinci Code (May), all movies I'm dying to see.
Brokeback mountain is based on the short story by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Annie Proulx. Set against the sweeping vistas of Wyoming and Texas, the film tells the story of two young men -a ranch-hand and a rodeo cowboy - who meet in the summer of 1963, and unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, one whose complications, joys, and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.
If you have seen the first POTC then you will understand my anticipation of the second installment of the trilogy. With the original cast in tact, it's set to be a summer smash.
Finally, The Da Vinci Code, for those of you who have yet to read the book (where have you been for the last year?), the film should prove to be just as succesful. I urge you to read the book before the movie is released and I highly recommend Dan Brown's other works. Angels & Demons being my personal favourite as it also features Robert Langdon, the character from The Da Vinci Code. Langdon is a loveable , intelligent, slightly 'geekified' Indiana Jones, and proves to be a formidable hero in both novels.
Happy reading...

Music review - Will Young



This weeks music review is the evergreen Will Young. 2005 was a very good year for Mr Young, with his tour selling well and and a new album - Keep On.
Since arriving on our screens and winning Pop Idol in 2002 Will has had four number 1 singles and two number 1 albums.
His latest offering is called Keep On, and one of the key songs on it is the title track that brings to mind the lascivious groove of George Michael's 'I Want Your Sex'. Keep On and Switch It On come from a similar place. Switch it on is Will basically saying "there's more to me than just a ballad" as it is noticeably different to anything he has ever done before
My favourite track from the album, and the originally intended comeback song is All Time Love. It's an elegant ballad, and may well join 'Leave Right Now' as a modern standard. Young nailed the lyric in one take – he knows how to sing songs like that. He thought, however, that as a defiant act of his "moving on as an artist" he should release switch it on first.
To further showcase the man's seemingly endless talent he can currently be seen on the big screen, playing a part in Mrs Henderson Presents.
All time love is released on the 16th January.
To see the new video and find out more about Will Young click here.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Jemma


I'd like to introduce my devoted readers to this months cover girl - Jemma.
Jemma is 18 and currently resides in Leeds although originally from Jolly old Birmingham.
She's a fiesty 5' 2" and maintains that supple and flexible body through her gymnastics.
Her ideal man would be Justin Trousersnake, and her ideal day would involve a rather lengthy session with yours truly, the D-Mac.

Style icon 2006



And finally, at number one its.....Orlando Bloom!
Whether its swashbuckling on the high seas or dancing around the ring as a milkman, Orlando does it with style. So much so that I've chosen him as the style icon to look out for in 2006.
He epitomises the laid back rock star look I told you to look out for this year. Everything he wears oozes style. If you can, get hold of a copy of his interview in November 2005's American edition of GQ, the guy can even pull off stripey pyjamas and a camel hair coat, at the same time!
I'm not 100% keen on the hair cut but you can't fault anything else about him. And with Pirates of the Carribean 2 coming out in May, expect to see alot more of Mr Bloom in the coming months.
And to add to all this, a fact not alot of people know about Orlando is that he was seriously injured well he fell from a drain pipe which gave way when he had been messing around and leapt onto it. He fell three stories and shattered his vertebrae and faced a lifetime in a wheelchair. However, his recover was miraculous and the rest, as they say, is history....

Style icon 2006


At number 2 it's every one's favourite nanny shagger - Jude Law.
If you want the definition of smart casual its Mr Law. This guy was born in a white shirt and smart blazer. If you ever have a smart event to go to look no further than this man for inspiration. He also shows that you don't always have to wear a tie with a suit and shirt, the great option he tends to go for is a silk scarf, be it in plain white or in black with white polka dots.
The blazer is something that you MUST, i repeat MUST integrate into your wardrobe. Plain black is a must have, then from their I leave pattern, colour and material down to your personality. The only things I advise are that a two button option or possible a one button (as proved popular last year) are always the most wearable. Double breasted and three button types tend to work best on some physiques but not all. Another handy tip to look out for concerns the cuff. Go for four button cuffs as it shows that the fashion house weren't being skimpy when they made it and also check that the cuff actually "works". By this I mean that the buttons are not simply their for show, they should actually "function". This is a good sign of quality.
If you want that sophisticated bachelor look then go no further than seeing a copy of Jude's remake of Alfie. In this his style is a perfect example of how to blend suits and smart blazers into a more "street friendly" look by simply adding scarves and smart jeans.

Style icon 2006


As promised, here is a rundown of my 3 favourite style icons and what we can learn from each of them.
At 3 its Andy Roddick, the fiery American tennis player. I chose the A-Rod because he has that wonderful american skater look perfected. Now I know he is sponsored by Lacoste and so is contracted to wear their clothing every where he goes, but the classic lacoste polo is a must have for any wardrobe. As Andy has himself said, "jeans and a polo are good for just about any occasion". He has a valid point, I mean you can follow him and team that polo with some ripped jeans for that casual, "couldn't be bothered" look. Or you can take a leaf out of Brandon Flowers (The Killers) book and throw a blazer or skinny suit on top of that polo.
The great thing about this laid back look is that anybody with testosterone and a penis can pull it off, even you.

Style in 2006

As a follow up to my recent Look your best in 2006 article I'd just like to add a few things.
Firstly I realise that for alot of guys out there they like to learn from watching other people do things (easy, I know what your thinking). So I thought long and hard about it and realised that to the best way for me to teach you about style would be for you to have some one to look at, a reference point if you will.
And this is what I have come up with, I'm going to discuss a few of my favourite style icons and show you what we can learn from each of them. You see style isn't neccesarily copying someone who is "cool". Style is all about finding what works for each of us and sticking to it. I'm not a great admirer of people who chop and change looks, fashion victims to be more precise. You see, there is a fine line between being up to date with your look and being totally over the top. The best example I could give you would be David Beckham. This guy borders on being extremely fashionable to making a complete ass of himself. We don't want this. What we want is for you to establish our own style which suits our personality but is also contemporary. However, if your personality borders on eccentric, I don't want you going round in cravattes and cummerbunds.
So in short, from each "icon" I dish up we will learn a valuable fashion lesson and hopefully this will go a long way in helping you find what works for you.
Peace out

How the days roll by



Being a student and having fuck all else to do alot of my hours are passed watching day time television.
Thanks to this "creation" I can now:
- Name every diet known to man
- Prepare celery sticks in a 101 different ways
- Name every goddam Z list celebrity on Earth
- Tell you a detailed account of Darren and Vicky's love tiff (as observed on Trisha)
- Spot a Bonafide antique in an auction room
- Paint my bedroom in a multitude of colours I never even knew exsisted

I'd just like to say that you big wig television bosses better start bucking up your ideas. You must realise that it is not just overweight, middle aged women who watch television during the sunshine hours.
Despite all this daytime television has taught me one valuable lesson - stay in bed until children's programmes come on at 3 O' clock.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Look your best in 2006





Being the fashionista I am I see it as my duty to keep the rest of you guys looking your best in this new year.
Now as a dedicated follower of the Italian school of fashion I'm going to level with you - Dolce & Gabbana is where its at. Always has been, always will be. They are, in my humble opinion, the ownly fashion house where the catwalk looks can actually be translated to the street.
You'll be excited to know that this years look is so great and sooooo simple, even for the most hardened anti-fashion gits out there.
Anyway getting to the point, this years look is....rock star! Thats right, skinny suits, big ass sunglasses, bold tees and of course the obligatory accesories. Think Bon Jovi.
(The D & G guys cites their inspiration as Pete Doherty, but I'm not really buying that and wouldn't dream of using his name in an advertising campaign!)
Basically this all translates as meaning that you can be as flash as you like! Now personally for daytime wear I'd go for some beaten up converse (colour could match tee shirt or possibly belt), some really beat up jeans including some slight paint staining, and top it off with a tight fitting tee which has some kind of bold print on it. Add to this the male must have accesory, a double chain going into the pocket and off course a few swinging pendants from the neck and your good for go. Another great accesory to have is the skinny scarf - its going to be big in the spring.
As for jackets I'm going to tell you all to go out and buy yourself a leather jacket. This is a must have in any wardrobe and works with everything in every season. Make sure its a good one though, those cheap immitations just won't cut it.
Of an evening its all about the velvet (something I informed many of you about last year). This can just be slung on top of what i just described or even better - teamed with a shirt which is unbuttoned to the navel. This is the key look for D & G this year. For a really dressed up event then the skinny suit and tie is a must. The skinny suit in a reptile skin is a great and fun option to try this summer. Shimmering, shiny suits in black are something you might like to try to really stand out
As for shorts, well they are worn over the top of trousers. Strange as it may sound but don't worry you won't look like superman as long as you avoid the red shorts a miss! Opt instead for kick boxing shorts as a nice change up.
Team this with some more pendants around the neck and your ready for the beach.
if this all sounds a bit too much for you then don't worry, gym wear is big again in 2006. Flannel tracksuits and vests with a couple of sweat bands is a nice casual sporty look which most guys should be able to pull off.
Thankfully you won't have to pay an arm and a leg to get the neccesary clobber, I've done some research and Topman are going to be carrying a similar look in early 06.
I've included plenty of pictures to give you some ideas.
Keep it real

Single















Being a frustrated single male living in the 21st century I've recently started thinking about some of my deepest and darkest fantasies.
Now don't all start searching for the escape button, my fantasies aren't really that dirty at all.
I worked it out, I'd like to shag a really posh bird, like Elizabeth Hurley. She would be ideal actually. But thats not the end of it, I'd also like to shag a really dirty chav, gold chains and a 20 pack of malboro and all. Lady sovereign is a prime example.
You may notice that there is a slight difference in class between these two particular ladies but I think that that is the appeal. I'm fed up of dallying in the middle of the class system, lets see what the others have to offfer. I reckon the results would be very interesting. You see you would imagine that the chav would be really dirty but I reckon the posh bird would have far more to offer in the bedroom, and I dont just mean she would have expensive silk sheets.
Next time your out on the pull try and look past those gold chains and hoodies and in the name of science give it a go!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Women

Think I'm going to get my moneys worth today and add something about my biggest passion....women.
Now I could talk for hours about the more delicate gender but I'm not going to. A quote I recently heard in the movie Closer is very interesting: "You women don't understand the territory, because you are the territory".
What the hell does that mean I hear you ask, well I don't know either, answers on a post card please. But what I think Clive Owen is trying to say is that the failings of the male species are solely due to women. Women tend to bring out the worst in men may be a better way of putting it. You may ask how I deduced this hypothesis but I would be unable to answer this question as I do not yet know myself. However, from my own personal and traumatic experiences in this particular field I can safely say that Mr Owen has a valid point.
Anyway, enough of the scientific spiel, what really bugs me about you women folk is that you will never tell us if you like us or are interested. You assume that we should know this. You must remember that most of the time most of our blood and attention is focused in our crotch and so sometimes we miss these so called "signals" which you emit. Just once I'd like an attractive brunnette to approach me, why should I do all the work? After all, you guys are always banging on about equality, are you not?

Just a little about me really

Just a little about me really.
I'm one of those awful students who drain the economy (rather like you unemployed fools, at least I'm trying to remedy the situation). I have a fondness for sports of all sorts as I have what is called a competitive drive, which basically means I want to compare dicks all the time. I really hate the country I live in although I am patriotic, I just wish England was located somewhere sunnier where there were nice beaches. I really like the beach, something about how people will just strip down to nothing just because they see the ocean kind of makes me giggle. So when the summer comes I try to spend as much time in the sun as is humanly possible. I really do like the summer, detest winter, even christmas. Summer is so much happier and nicer. Only 5 more months until summer....oh dear....reaching for the anti depressants.

Day 2 of hopefully a more prosperous new year

Another day, another dollar or perhaps not. Feel shitty today due to staying up until 4 am to watch movies then woke up at 12pm having missed most of the day.
On a more positive note I actually watched a truly great movie last night - Collateral. All I can say is wow, if I'm going to get old (which I'm not sure if I am yet as I'm considering killing myself off while I'm in my prime), then I want to do it like TomCruise (boy he looks good in grey(both the suit and the hair)).
Also Grease was on today, another great film as was 20,000 leagues below the sea which is a great piece of cinema considering it is over 50 years old. Grease has put me in the mood for some singing and dancing. Summer lovin'......
Think I will make some predictions for the coming year:
- There will be a natural disaster
- There will be some terrorist attacks
- Chelsea will win the premiership
- Barcelona will win the Champions league
- Tim Henman will NOT win Wimbledon, c'mon people you've just got to accept that Roger Federer is just too damn good
- Tiger Woods will win 3 majors and edge ever closer to Jack Nicklaus' record
- Europe will retain the Ryder Cup, wooohooooo!!!
- You've probably noticed that I've saved the best for last
Yes, England WILL win the world cup, you have heard it here first

Well thats just what I think anyway, don't all run to the bookies too quickly, I haven't been to the future and gained a results book like that evil scumbag in Back to the future, although that would be so great. Note to self: I watch too many movies.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Another year, another diary

Another year, another diary. But before we enter a new year we must first reflect on the happenings in the life of the D-Mac over the last 365 days:
number of failed relationships - 4
number of jobs - 2
number of fumbles in the dark - not enough
number of friends who hav lost contact -way too many
number of times I've been reminded I'm not Bridget Jones - once
Prospects for the next twelve months - ziltch

Hopefully in the following twelve months I will:
- get my golf handicap down to a single figure
- gain at least 2 stone in weight
- find a career which I actually want to do
- Find myself a decent woman
- Spend more time with the people who matter to me -the friends i have left

Don't let this boring blog fool you, I am normally quite an interesting individual. However, one must take stock of one's life when the time comes and so this is quite necesary.
As me old mucker Will used to say, "you dont know where your going unless you know where you've been".